self-actualization

The “I” and the “Me”

Ever notice that we seem to have more than one self at play? We catch ourselves acting spiteful, jealous, envious and petulant, status-seeking and driven. On the other hand can be relaxed, generous and kind. What’s going on? There are various ways and systems of thought to slice and dice this, (sub-personalities, parts, etc.) but … Read more

Stop Trying to Change Yourself

You’ve tried everything. Therapy, yoga, positive thinking, meditation, exercise, and fasting. You’ve been on retreats that promised the kundalini serpent would rise up and awaken you. You’ve opened your third eye, cleared your chakras, done past life regressions. Maybe you’ve tried psychedelics. You expected that everything would change. But guess what, at the end of … Read more

Endure Nothing and Nobody

I’m grateful to my mentor and therapist, Andrew Feldmar, for this principle. When he first dropped it on me I remember being speechless. I could hardly imagine putting it into practice. It’s wisdom spread through my system like a time-release capsule. Here’s why I think it’s so hard to accept, let alone practice. When we … Read more

Privilege the true over the good

From the time we arrive the world wants us to be “good”. It’s easier for our parents, for our teachers, for just about everybody—except perhaps our selves. Al Gore wrote the Inconvenient Truth over twenty years ago, related to the environment. But it could be applied to our own development as human beings. We learn … Read more

Siddhartha: Becoming an Individual (Part 1)

I intend to write this reflection in two parts, tracking the spiritual progress of our protagonist, Siddhartha, and then riffing on some possible meanings for our own spiritual journey. I must be one of the very few who had never read Herman Hesse’s classic novel, Siddhartha. It’s based (sort of) on the life of the … Read more

Bruce Sanguin

Psychotherapist