Notes on Liberation Bruce Sanguin's blog
The Dark Side of People-Pleasing: Rage, Shame, and the Shadow
People-pleasing looks nice from the outside. You are agreeable. Accommodating. Helpful. You anticipate what other people need. You avoid unnecessary conflict. You learn to read the room and adjust yourself accordingly. But there is a dark side of people-pleasing that we don’t talk about nearly enough. Underneath all that niceness there may be feelings that … Read more
The Christmas Story Is About You: You Were Born Legitimate
What if the Christmas story is about you? I don’t mean that you are Jesus. I mean that perhaps we have made the Christmas story too small by treating it only as the story of one miraculous incarnation two thousand years ago. What if it is also an archetypal story about incarnation itself? A human … Read more
How to Live a Life of Your Own: What Marion Milner Can Teach Us
What would it mean to live a life of your own? Not the life your parents imagined for you. Not the life your culture rewards. Not the life you constructed in order to be accepted, admired, safe or loved. Your life. It sounds obvious. Of course my life is my own. Who else could possibly … Read more
From Ego to Heart Self: How to Stop Defending and Start Listening
Most of us assume our biggest problem is that we don’t have enough confidence. But what if confidence isn’t the issue? What if the real issue is that we’re living from a part of ourselves that was never meant to lead our lives? I call this the ego—not in the sense of arrogance or narcissism, … Read more
The Sin of Self-Omission
Recovering the Image of God Within Us The word sin has suffered a tragic fate. For many people it conjures images of guilt, shame, moral failure, or an angry God keeping score of human behaviour. It has become one of the least useful words in the spiritual vocabulary because it has been reduced to a … Read more
Your Spiritual Task Is to Become Yourself
It sounds almost too simple. We often imagine that spirituality is about becoming more loving, more enlightened, more disciplined, or somehow closer to God. But after years of studying psychology, theology, philosophy, and human development—and after decades of accompanying people through their deepest struggles—I keep returning to a surprisingly simple conclusion: Our deepest calling is … Read more
Healthy Disagreement: Can You Stay Yourself Without Making an Enemy?
There was a moment over dinner recently that has stayed with me. The conversation was lively. Several thoughtful people around the table were discussing philosophy, politics, and the future of the world. As the evening unfolded—and perhaps helped along by a glass or two of wine—one person began speaking at length. Eventually, another friend interrupted. … Read more
Real Spirituality Makes You More You
One of the most common assumptions in modern spirituality is that the highest goal is to transcend the self. We’re told that we’re all one. That we’re the ocean, not merely the wave. That awakening means dissolving the illusion of separation. There’s deep wisdom in these teachings. But I’ve begun to wonder whether they’re sometimes … Read more
Why Spiritual Awakening Feels Like Dying
Is My Life Falling Apart? There comes a moment on almost every authentic spiritual journey when it feels as though life is coming apart. Not simply because circumstances have changed. Not because a relationship has ended. Not because a career has collapsed. But because something far more fundamental is happening. The very identity you’ve relied … Read more
Henry David Thoreau and the Courage to Live Your Own Life
Most people know one thing about Henry David Thoreau. He went to live in a small cabin beside Walden Pond. For many, that’s where the story ends. Thoreau becomes the eccentric philosopher who escaped civilization to commune with nature. But when you read Walden, a very different picture emerges. Thoreau wasn’t running away from life. … Read more
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The Goodness Trap:
End People-Pleasing and Live Your Own Heart-Centred Life
This book describes how to end the people-pleasing identity and shift into your true, heart-centred self.
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