self-actualization

Healing Shame

In my last post, I wrote about the deep roots of shame. I was invited by a reader to write a post about how we exit the hell realm of shame. The first step is to realize, and I mean unambiguously realize, that we are not the cause of our shame. Which is to say, … Read more

Busted! The Deep Roots of Shame

I had a terrifying dream a week or so ago, which I ended up taking to my therapist. I’d been selected to play a couple exceedingly difficult classical piano pieces. The problem is that I don’t play the piano. There is an audience of 200 colleagues who are eagerly waiting from my virtuoso display of … Read more

Does the Universe Have Our Back?

A wise teacher once told me that at some point we all need to answer the question for ourselves: is the universe for us, against us, or indifferent? Our answer needs to be more than intellectual. Only a handful of years ago I would have told you that the universe was definitely for me. I … Read more

Time, Timing, Fatigue and the Radicality of Relaxation

The clock on the wall keeps a pushin’me That’s not the way I want my life to be If you take any pushing from that clock on the wall, you won’t be happy at all. —The Guess Who From the day we are born until we die we are pushed by the “clock on the … Read more

O Grave, Where Is Thy Victory?

This is a talk given at EastLake Community Church in Seattle: I fear that I must be developing a reputation among you. I am graciously invited by your leaders and then proceed to talk on such things as trauma, grief, and alas this morning, death. I promise to never give a talk on taxes! But … Read more