Trauma

Healing Shame

In my last post, I wrote about the deep roots of shame. I was invited by a reader to write a post about how we exit the hell realm of shame. The first step is to realize, and I mean unambiguously realize, that we are not the cause of our shame. Which is to say, … Read more

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Busted! The Deep Roots of Shame

I had a terrifying dream a week or so ago, which I ended up taking to my therapist. I’d been selected to play a couple exceedingly difficult classical piano pieces. The problem is that I don’t play the piano. There is an audience of 200 colleagues who are eagerly waiting from my virtuoso display of … Read more

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Nerves Mean “No”

In the early days of psychology, emotional and psychological “disorders” were associated with our nerves. A “nervy” person today is thought to be somebody who either acts without fear (“nerves of steel”) or acts boldly but perhaps thoughtlessly (“she has some nerve”!). But the old timers understood that when it comes to how we face … Read more

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What Is a Therapist’s Role?

I’ve made a few therapeutic journeys in the last few decades. All of my therapists have been skilled. But I would say that my last therapist, Andrew Feldmar, is a master therapist. What constitutes mastery in a therapist? In part, it’s time. He’s been at it for over forty years and has seen pretty much … Read more

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Does the Universe Have Our Back?

A wise teacher once told me that at some point we all need to answer the question for ourselves: is the universe for us, against us, or indifferent? Our answer needs to be more than intellectual. Only a handful of years ago I would have told you that the universe was definitely for me. I … Read more

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