False Self

Be The Author of Your Own Life

Have you ever felt like an actor in a play that someone else wrote? Like you’re performing a role for approval, acceptance, or peace? This is a heavy script to carry. To boot, your life is then a performance. In somebody else’s script. It’s a performance of the lines and the part that you think … Read more

The Hazards of Acquiescence

I once heard someone describe people-pleasing as living with a silent apology for wanting anything different from others. The word “acquiesce” comes to mind. To surrender or submit—an impulse many people-pleasers know well. (Properly understood, surrender – to what is – is a good thing, but I’m talking about capitulation). The pressure to yield to … Read more

Trade in the performance of “good” for the practice of true

If you’ve worked with me at all, you’ve probably heard me use this phrase, “Trade in the performance of “good” for the practice of true. “Good” is in quotation marks because “good” behaviour rarely is truly good, meaning it’s not coming from a true place within. As Mark Twain put it, “good in the worst sense … Read more

Demystifying Purpose

Have you noticed how much is out there about finding your soul’s purpose? You know, the reason you’re here. There’s a thing you’re supposed to be doing that is aligned with spirit or soul or G_d and until you find that thing you’re not going to be happy. Usually, this invitation is accompanied by an … Read more

When You Feel Like Giving Up

Not everybody is ringing in the New Year with unreserved optimism. For some of us, it’s all become a bit too much and all the New Year resolutions and positive affirmations to the contrary have a hollow sound, empty of power to make a difference. COVID doesn’t help. We’re getting ground down. The late psychiatrist, Scott Peck, opened … Read more

Bruce Sanguin

Psychotherapist