Be An Authority by Authoring Your Own Life
Are you the author of your own life? Or do you feel like an actor in a play that someone else wrote? Like you’re performing a role for approval, acceptance, or peace? This is a heavy script to carry. Your life becomes a performance in somebody else’s script—a portrayal crafted to earn love, approval, and acceptance. But all of this is made up in your mind, a fantasy rooted in past experiences of mistreatment and failures of love, leaving you feeling like you’re not enough. It’s exhausting and disheartening to live a life that doesn’t feel like yours.
Here’s the thing about living someone else’s script: You’ll never feel never feel like you have any personal authority. That sense of being able to speak one’s own truth, to live with integrity, and to not worry about what others will think, is the foundation of personal authority. People feel it. Your boss knows it when you’re grounded in your own authority. You can be the author of your own life and by doing so gain the inner authority that comes with not being afraid to be you.
Understanding People-Pleasing Behavior
This tendency to mold oneself to others’ expectations is often referred to as people-pleasing. People-pleasers habitually prioritize others’ needs over their own, seeking validation and acceptance. This behavior can stem from low self-esteem, anxiety, or past experiences where expressing one’s own thoughts and needs felt unsafe. sparrowsnestcounseling.com
The Impact of People-Pleasing
While aiming to please others might seem noble, it often leads to negative consequences:
- Loss of Identity: Constantly adapting to others’ desires can cause you to lose sight of your own identity and preferences.
- Resentment: Suppressing your own needs may lead to feelings of frustration and resentment towards others.
- Burnout: Continuously putting others first can result in physical and emotional exhaustion.medicalnewstoday.com
Breaking Free from the People-Pleasing Script
What if you put down that script? Instead of reacting to others’ expectations, you can choose your own lines. Taking steps towards authenticity involves:
- Self-Awareness: Recognize when you’re acting out of a desire to please rather than genuine intent.
- Setting Boundaries: Learn to say no when requests conflict with your own needs or values.calm.com
- Prioritizing Your Needs: Acknowledge that your desires and well-being are just as important as those of others.
Embracing Your Authentic Story
Today, take one small step to make your life your own. Make a choice that feels true to you, even if it’s small. The truest story is the one you write yourself. By shedding the people-pleasing persona and embracing your authentic self, you pave the way for genuine relationships and a more fulfilling life.people.com
Remember, it’s not selfish to prioritize your own needs and desires. It’s a necessary step towards living a life that’s truly yours.
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Watch my free End People Pleasing Webinar: See how I help people overcome people-pleasing in as little as 12 weeks: Click here.
