False Self
The Dark Side of People-Pleasing: Rage, Shame, and the Shadow
People-pleasing looks nice from the outside. You are agreeable. Accommodating. Helpful. You anticipate what other people need. You avoid unnecessary conflict. You learn to read the room and adjust yourself accordingly. But there is a dark side of people-pleasing that we don’t talk about nearly enough. Underneath all that niceness there may be feelings that … Read more
Preference Falsification Keeps You Stuck In the Past
Preference falsification keeps you stuck in the past. It is the act of misrepresenting your true preferences or beliefs to align with social expectations or avoid conflict or disapproval. It occurs when individuals publicly express opinions or preferences that differ from their private ones, often out of fear of judgment, punishment, or social ostracism. The … Read more
The Past Is Not Dead. It’s Not Even Past.
“The past is not dead. It’s not even past.” — William Faulkner The Past Is Our Default Setting : The Hidden Neural Loops Most of us, most of the time, live in and through the past. But the past isn’t just what happened back then. It’s the neural networks grooved into our brains, shaped by … Read more
Your Guide to Ending People Pleasing
The ultimate guide to ending people pleasing is intended to give you some practice guidance about what people pleasing is and how to end it. If you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of putting others’ needs above your own, saying “yes” when you want to say “no,” or constantly seeking approval, you’re not alone. … Read more
Author Your Own Life
Be An Authority by Authoring Your Own Life Are you the author of your own life? Or do you feel like an actor in a play that someone else wrote? Like you’re performing a role for approval, acceptance, or peace? This is a heavy script to carry. Your life becomes a performance in somebody else’s … Read more