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Anxiety As Memory

I remember not being able to sleep as a little kid. I was anxious. I didn’t know the word for it back then. Just felt like there was a lizard crawling around in my stomach. I’d grab my pillow and hold it close. By some strange grace I realized back then that worrying about not … Read more

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Distinguishing Needs from Wants

I once told my mentor and therapist, Andrew Feldmar, that my wife “needed” more from me. He stopped me there and said, “babies need, adults desire”. At the time, the significance of this didn’t register. I thought he was splitting hairs. I forget when the coin dropped, but when it did it delivered the goods. (Thinking … Read more

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The “I” and the “Me”

Ever notice that we seem to have more than one self at play? We catch ourselves acting spiteful, jealous, envious and petulant, status-seeking and driven.   On the other hand can be relaxed, generous and kind. What’s going on?  There are various ways and systems of thought to slice and dice this, (sub-personalities, parts, etc.) but … Read more

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Stop Trying to Change Yourself

You’ve tried everything. Therapy, yoga, positive thinking, meditation, exercise, and fasting. You’ve been on retreats that promised the kundalini serpent would rise up and awaken you. You’ve opened your third eye, cleared your chakras, done past life regressions. Maybe you’ve tried psychedelics. You expected that everything would change. But guess what, at the end of … Read more

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Endure Nothing and Nobody

I’m grateful to my mentor and therapist, Andrew Feldmar, for this principle. When he first dropped it on me I remember being speechless. I could hardly imagine putting it into practice. It’s wisdom spread through my system like a time-release capsule. Here’s why I think it’s so hard to accept, let alone practice. When we … Read more

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