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I’ve written elsewhere about inheriting a negative attitude about desire. I interpreted the opening line of Psalm 23 ( “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want” ) to mean I shouldn’t want. Obviously, it means something more along the lines of God provides, chill out. Whether that’s true or not is beside the … Read more

Failures of love, physical or emotional, persist in the psyche. They are disastrous, and in my experience there is no magic way to “get over” them. But they don’t have to run your life either. When we break through the denial that we were devastated by failures of love, it becomes possible to live in … Read more

Thoughts take me out, out of my body, out of now. Molars grind. I am grinding out a problem to occupy this mind. I am this grind. It is a demanding sport, this getting lost in thought. This figuring out of a future that is a replay of a bad season in which all was … Read more

It’s common to hear spiritual seekers berate themselves for “doing” and not “being”. What exactly does this mean though? To most people it means sitting quietly, not having to be busy, and not distracting themselves with activity. Which I get. Compulsively being on the move as a defence against feeling, or dealing with one’s life … Read more

I was born into the world to love it. To love my mother, father, siblings, and the trees, the sky, the rain. When I discovered I couldn’t love my mother because her heart was closed the love transmuted into “fuck you” . It is a revelation to understand the darkness, the heaviness, as what becomes … Read more