People Pleasing
The Dark Side of People-Pleasing: Rage, Shame, and the Shadow
People-pleasing looks nice from the outside. You are agreeable. Accommodating. Helpful. You anticipate what other people need. You avoid unnecessary conflict. You learn to read the room and adjust yourself accordingly. But there is a dark side of people-pleasing that we don’t talk about nearly enough. Underneath all that niceness there may be feelings that … Read more
How to Live a Life of Your Own: What Marion Milner Can Teach Us
What would it mean to live a life of your own? Not the life your parents imagined for you. Not the life your culture rewards. Not the life you constructed in order to be accepted, admired, safe or loved. Your life. It sounds obvious. Of course my life is my own. Who else could possibly … Read more
Henry David Thoreau and the Courage to Live Your Own Life
Most people know one thing about Henry David Thoreau. He went to live in a small cabin beside Walden Pond. For many, that’s where the story ends. Thoreau becomes the eccentric philosopher who escaped civilization to commune with nature. But when you read Walden, a very different picture emerges. Thoreau wasn’t running away from life. … Read more
People Pleasing – An Overview
This post: People-pleasing: an overview is an introduction to people-pleaser psychology. People-pleasing arises from a deeply ingrained belief, often formed in childhood, that one is not enough as they are. This belief drives the need to generate added value to justify one’s existence. At its core, people-pleasing stems from the idea that one’s natural self—spontaneous … Read more
Preference Falsification Keeps You Stuck In the Past
Preference falsification keeps you stuck in the past. It is the act of misrepresenting your true preferences or beliefs to align with social expectations or avoid conflict or disapproval. It occurs when individuals publicly express opinions or preferences that differ from their private ones, often out of fear of judgment, punishment, or social ostracism. The … Read more