Inklings Bruce Sanguin's blog

Trying Harder Won’t Work When it’s never enough, no matter how much you give, no matter how hard you try, you can be sure you are dealing with your inner people pleaser. The MO of the people pleasing personality is to try harder and fail – thus re-enacting what happened in childhood. Trying harder to … Read more

People pleasing drains your life force and keeps you from being you. Over the years of practicing psychotherapy I have found that there’s a lot of people pleasing going on. Its forms are legion:  David keeps taking more and more projects on at work because he can’t say no to his boss and is worried about … Read more

Distinguishing desire from craving is critical if we’re going to reclaim a balanced attitude about desire. I’ve written elsewhere about inheriting a negative attitude about desire. I interpreted the opening line of Psalm 23 ( “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want” ) to mean I shouldn’t want. Obviously, it means something more … Read more

Being and doing: a false dichotomy? It’s common to hear spiritual seekers berate themselves for “doing” and not “being”. What exactly does this mean though? To most people it means sitting quietly, not having to be busy, and not distracting themselves with activity. Which I get. Compulsively being on the move as a defence against … Read more

To live your own life is not selfish. The theme of this website, Live Your Own Life, can be misconstrued as a life of selfishness. Or the exertion of a heroic will to make things go the way mainstream culture has told us will make us happy. This is always in the direction of increased … Read more

I Am One with the Mess I mentioned in my last blog that I’d been reading Krishnamurti. It’s tricky catching on to what he’s about — well, for me at least. Here’s my best shot, for those interested. His most repeated statement is: the observed is the observer. But what does he mean? What we … Read more

I recently emerged from a dark night of the soul. That’s what John of the Cross (15th – 16th century) called the suffering of the soul’s purification en route to union with God. (Personally, I think we’re already in union with “G_d”, we just don’t know it, for reasons discussed in this reflection). The dark … Read more

Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy The purpose of psychedelic psychotherapy is to deepen the capacity for connection between the patient and the therapist. Individuals utilize psychedelics for various purposes. These include gaining direct insight into the nature of reality; exploring their subconscious; enhancing creativity; and enjoying recreational experiences at social gatherings or in natural settings. All valid. I’ve … Read more