Inklings Bruce Sanguin's blog

Forgiveness is a powerful word. It’s often held up as the key to freedom—the cornerstone of healing. But the truth about forgiveness is that too often it is a shortcut. It can be little more than spiritual bypassing the deep work of grieving mistreatment. That’s why grieving comes first when it comes to forgiveness. When … Read more

Introduction: What Is the Trauma Signature? The Trauma Signature, also known as the Trauma Self, Survivor Self, Trying Self, Performative Self, or simply “ego,” is the self-protective ego we construct to shield ourselves from the pain of past wounds. Identifying it and dissolving it is how we break free from the grip of the past. … Read more

Introduction: What Is the Heart Self Signature? Just as we each carry a unique trauma signature shaped by our past experiences, fears, and limiting beliefs, we also possess a Heart Self Signature—the blueprint of our true, authentic self. While the trauma signature reflects survival patterns and self-protection, the Heart Self Signature embodies our natural, spontaneous, … Read more

Introduction: Fawning Is the Compulsion to appease others Fawning is the compulsion to appease others. When we think of stress or danger, responses like “fight,” “flight,” or “freeze” often come to mind. But there’s a lesser-known trauma response that’s deeply tied to people-pleasing: fawning. Coined by psychotherapist Pete Walker, is a survival mechanism that prioritizes … Read more

“I consider many adults (including myself) are or have been, more or less, in a hypnotic trance, induced in early infancy: we remain in this state – when we dead awaken, as Ibsen has one of his characters say – we shall find that we have never lived.”—R.D. Laing. In other words, early imprints shape … Read more

When You Matter, You “Matter” I don’t matter is a belief that keeps you from materializing. One of the deepest and most persistent unconscious beliefs that people-pleasers carry. This belief, often formed in childhood, shapes how we see ourselves and how we show up in the world—or, more accurately, how we don’t. When we feel … Read more

Doing what you want to do isn’t selfish. People-pleasers may find this challenging: Does that notion make you uncomfortable? Before labeling it as selfish, let’s explore its deeper meaning. Understanding Self-Aligned Actions When you undertake actions for yourself—even acts of generosity—you’re not seeking external approval, affection, or validation. Instead, you’re acting in harmony with your … Read more