Inklings Bruce Sanguin's blog
Nerves Mean “No”
In the early days of psychology, emotional and psychological “disorders” were associated with our nerves. A “nervy” person today is thought to be somebody who either acts without fear (“nerves of steel”) or acts boldly but perhaps thoughtlessly (“she has some nerve”!). But the old timers understood that when it comes to how we face … Read more
How to Choose a Therapist
I’ve made a few therapeutic journeys in the last few decades. All of my therapists have been skilled. But I would say that my last therapist, Andrew Feldmar, is a master therapist. What constitutes mastery in a therapist? In part, it’s time. He’s been at it for over forty years and has seen pretty much … Read more
Does the Universe Have Our Back?
A wise teacher once told me that at some point we all need to answer the question for ourselves: is the universe for us, against us, or indifferent? Our answer needs to be more than intellectual. Only a handful of years ago I would have told you that the universe was definitely for me. I … Read more
Time, Timing, Fatigue and the Radicality of Relaxation
The clock on the wall keeps a pushin’me That’s not the way I want my life to be If you take any pushing from that clock on the wall, you won’t be happy at all. —The Guess Who From the day we are born until we die we are pushed by the “clock on the … Read more
Suffering Our Way Back to Reality
To suffer is to submit to reality. Sounds simple. But if we could do it, we’d all be awakened souls. I’m convinced that this is the wisdom that saints, and holy women and men, throughout the ages either stumbled on to or knew by direct download. The Buddha discovered it under a Bodhi tree. Jesus … Read more
Wishing Your Life Away
When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are… — From Pinnochio Walt Disney took an original folk tale about a “bad boy” who endures humiliating experiences in order to correct his behaviour and turned it into the beloved version we know today. Probably a good thing since the original tale has … Read more
O Grave, Where Is Thy Victory?
This is a talk given at EastLake Community Church in Seattle: I fear that I must be developing a reputation among you. I am graciously invited by your leaders and then proceed to talk on such things as trauma, grief, and alas this morning, death. I promise to never give a talk on taxes! But … Read more
The Spiritual Ego
Spirituality can be recruited as a substitute for trauma work. When this happens we develop a spiritual ego, little more than another defence against suffering what is ours to suffer. It’s a little harder to spot because it can present as calm, equanimous, wise, unflappable, smart, compassionate, etc. On the other hand, when we run … Read more
THE CORE ADDICTION
A human being’s core addiction is to the traumatized self. Trauma, along with our early childhood patterns of compensating for failures of love give rise to our trauma signature. This signature registers as “me” in my energetic field. As an adult, with all of this trauma relegated by repression to the unconscious, I default under … Read more
Authentic Forgiveness
As We Forgive I attended Yom Kippur this past year, with my Jewish wife, Mia. It’s the holiest day of the year for Jews. The theme is repentance and atonement for sin. These folks know how to do repentance. Three hours of singing about how they have hurt others through acts of commission and omission. … Read more
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