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Is Your Life A Silent Apology: Break Free from People-Pleasing
Is your life a silent apology? People-pleasers often live with an unspoken apology, constantly acquiescing to others’ desires at the expense of their own. This habitual surrender stifles personal growth and authenticity. Living on others’ terms is akin to painting a masterpiece with colors chosen by someone else. By consistently deferring to others, we diminish … Read more
Read MoreWhen It’s Never Enough
Trying Harder Won’t Work When it’s never enough, no matter how much you give, no matter how hard you try, you can be sure you are dealing with your inner people pleaser. The MO of the people pleasing personality is to try harder and fail – thus re-enacting what happened in childhood. Trying harder to … Read more
Read MorePeople Pleasing Drains Your Life Force
People pleasing drains your life force and keeps you from being you. Over the years of practicing psychotherapy I have found that there’s a lot of people pleasing going on. Its forms are legion: David keeps taking more and more projects on at work because he can’t say no to his boss and is worried about … Read more
Read MoreDistinguishing Desire from Craving
Distinguishing desire from craving is critical if we’re going to reclaim a balanced attitude about desire. I’ve written elsewhere about inheriting a negative attitude about desire. I interpreted the opening line of Psalm 23 ( “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want” ) to mean I shouldn’t want. Obviously, it means something more … Read more
Read MoreBeing and Doing: A False Dichotomy?
Being and doing: a false dichotomy? It’s common to hear spiritual seekers berate themselves for “doing” and not “being”. What exactly does this mean though? To most people it means sitting quietly, not having to be busy, and not distracting themselves with activity. Which I get. Compulsively being on the move as a defence against … Read more
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