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People pleasing drains your life force and keeps you from being you. Over the years of practicing psychotherapy I have found that there’s a lot of people pleasing going on. Its forms are legion:  David keeps taking more and more projects on at work because he can’t say no to his boss and is worried about … Read more

Distinguishing desire from craving is critical if we’re going to reclaim a balanced attitude about desire. I’ve written elsewhere about inheriting a negative attitude about desire. I interpreted the opening line of Psalm 23 ( “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want” ) to mean I shouldn’t want. Obviously, it means something more … Read more

Being and doing: a false dichotomy? It’s common to hear spiritual seekers berate themselves for “doing” and not “being”. What exactly does this mean though? To most people it means sitting quietly, not having to be busy, and not distracting themselves with activity. Which I get. Compulsively being on the move as a defence against … Read more

To live your own life is not selfish. The theme of this website, Live Your Own Life, can be misconstrued as a life of selfishness. Or the exertion of a heroic will to make things go the way mainstream culture has told us will make us happy. This is always in the direction of increased … Read more

I Am One with the Mess I mentioned in my last blog that I’d been reading Krishnamurti. “The observed is the observer”. Huh? This is a repeated teaching. Here’s my best shot at what he means. What we observe, the world as it is, is pretty much a shit show of corruption, violence, greed, etc. … Read more