People Pleasing

Why I Teach about People-Pleasing.

Why do I do this? I mean, be a psychotherapist and teach an on-line course and coach people to end people-pleasing? Let’s start with why am I a therapist? At the age of 20, in my second year of my undergraduate, playing for the varsity volleyball team I was struck by the question of meaning … Read more

Trade in Self-Justification for Self-Expression

There’s a big difference between proving who you are—and simply being who you are. Think about it for a second. How often do we find ourselves justifying, explaining, or trying to prove that we’re somebody—worthy, good enough, lovable? The Ego Is a Hustler That’s the ego talking, the part of us that feels like it … Read more

We Are Not Born People Pleasers

Made for Love We’re not born people pleasers. We’re born for relationship, to enter into a dance of intimacy with the world. In other words, for love. Somewhere along the line, we discover it’s not on offer. Or it’s hit and miss. The “miss” is what breaks our heart. Like, really, breaks our heart. The … Read more

Treating Yourself Well

Treating yourself well is a non-negotiable. If you’re treating yourself well, you will never be treated well. When we’re not treated well when we’re young, it tends to keep happening in adulthood. Sometimes, it’s hard to even notice because some part of us thinks it’s normal. Early neglect leads to self-neglect. But it’s important to end … Read more