Inklings Bruce Sanguin's blog

Introduction: Fawning Is the Compulsion to appease othersFawning is the compulsion to appease others. When we think of stress or danger, responses like “fight,” “flight,” or “freeze” often come to mind. But there’s a lesser-known trauma response that’s deeply tied to people-pleasing: fawning. Coined by psychotherapist Pete Walker, is a survival mechanism that prioritizes others’ … Read more

“I consider many adults (including myself) are or have been, more or less, in a hypnotic trance, induced in early infancy: we remain in this state – when we dead awaken, as Ibsen has one of his characters say – we shall find that we have never lived.”—R.D. Laing. In other words, early imprints shape … Read more

When You Matter, You “Matter” I don’t matter is a belief that keeps you from materializing. One of the deepest and most persistent unconscious beliefs that people-pleasers carry. This belief, often formed in childhood, shapes how we see ourselves and how we show up in the world—or, more accurately, how we don’t. When we feel … Read more

Doing what you want to do isn’t selfish. People-pleasers may find this challenging: Does that notion make you uncomfortable? Before labeling it as selfish, let’s explore its deeper meaning. Understanding Self-Aligned Actions When you undertake actions for yourself—even acts of generosity—you’re not seeking external approval, affection, or validation. Instead, you’re acting in harmony with your … Read more