Inklings Bruce Sanguin's blog
The Elusive Mystery of Happiness – Part 1
Ever noticed that the more you try to find happiness directly, the more it eludes your grasp? My hunch is that this is because happiness isn’t properly a goal of life. It’s a feeling that happens when you get some other things right. The U.S. Declaration of Independence affirms that the “pursuit of happiness” … Read more
Are You Out of Your Mind?
I walk my dog between 7 and 8 am most mornings. We are grateful to live beside a gorgeous, off-leash ocean walk with mountain views across a strait. This stroll through paradise is interrupted by the screams of a homeless gentleman who does a version of primal therapy most mornings. The screams are blood-curdling and … Read more
What Are You Trying to Prove?
What are you trying to prove? Maybe you’ve heard this one directed at you when you did something reckless or annoying. Minus the emotion and directed objectively toward ourselves it can be revealing, even healing. When taken seriously, as a question of self-inquiry, (and not as an attack) it gets at what’s driving our emotional … Read more
Does Psychotherapy Enable Social Repression?
I’m reading two challenging books by the late British psychologist, David Smail. Ironically, he was dubious about the effectiveness of psychotherapy. Particularly when it does account for the oppressive impact of hidden societal “interests” on the quality of our individual lives. Why, he asks, do we always direct the client inward, as though something … Read more
Boooring….
Boredom. Tolstoy defined it as a “desire for desires”. You want to do something, anything, but nothing is sufficiently compelling to get you off your butt and out the door. And then there’s the awful restlessness. If you could be simply bored and sit there with equanimity you’d be a guru. But you’re not. The … Read more
Beyond the Brain: What Is Mental Illness?
I was shocked to discover that approximately 100,000 lobotomies were performed throughout the world, starting in the early 20th century and continuing right up until the 70’s. The heyday was the 1940’s. The procedure might seem both bizarre and gruesome. And it was both. But it was consistent with a burgeoning belief, still prevalent today, that … Read more
I Am Walter White
I just re-watched Breaking Bad. It’s a character study of a brilliant high school chemistry teacher, Walter White, who discovers that he has lung cancer, evoking a critical reckoning. Who am I? What have I accomplished? What is my legacy? It turns out the answers to these questions respectively for Walt are: I don’t have … Read more
Contending with Your Inner Critic
We’re our own worst critics. It’s a cliche but it became so by being true. Yes, a minority of humans have the opposite problem. They let themselves off the hook too easily. These folks have zero capacity to objectively assess their own behaviour, show remorse when they’ve wronged somebody, or hear any critical feedback without … Read more
Saying Goodbye to My Mother
I recently hit the road, destination Winnipeg, Manitoba, the city I grew up in and which I left at the age of 18 swearing I’d never return. Never did, at least not to live. I left because it’s so goddamned cold. Then, after the interminable cold summer would arrive. Green worms hung menacingly from dying … Read more
The Many Faces of Denial
Most of the time I’ve spent on my healing journey (ongoing) was about breaking through denial. Or more accurately having my ego broken. A working definition of the ego is that it is denial in the form of a personality. We build it so that we don’t have to see and feel things as they … Read more
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Dismantled: How Love and Psychedelics Broke a Clergyman Apart and Put Him Back Together
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